


Should You Find Yourself Surrounded by Enemies, Kyū-Kyū-Nyo-Ritsu-Ryō!

by Ki_no_Shirayuki



Category: Gintama, 陰陽師 | Onmyoji (Video Game)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Cosplay, Crack, Disguise, Fandom Allusions & Cliches & References, Gen, Humor, POV Alternating, POV First Person, POV Multiple, Present Tense, WTF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 05:39:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11098041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki_no_Shirayuki/pseuds/Ki_no_Shirayuki
Summary: A day at the convention.Pure Unadulterated Crack.





	1. Shinpachi

We have been separated for the nth time amidst the crowd at this cosplay convention, and each time it is hell for me to wade though that in my bulky costume to reunite with Gin-san and Kagura-chan. And in this kind of weather too… I swear, I must have sweat buckets. May hell befall the writer of this fanfic who gave the other two lighter costumes while I have to wear this crap! Apparently she is too lazy to drag her bum to the con by herself to purchase those limited edition hand-crafted action figures that she drooled all over the Yorozuya's floor about, and so she said she would pay us to get them (not that we mind about that last bit). Did I mention she's a die-hard fan of Onmyōji, and insisted on getting the voice actor connections right? Yes, that means she stuck Gin-san and Kagura-chan in Kurodōji and… Kagura costumes respectively. But why am _I_ here, sharing voice actor with zero characters from the game, you ask? Well, the author of this fic had the excellent idea of having me dress up as _Nurikabe_.

Now I understand what Candace Flynn feels at the end of episode 16 of Phineas and Ferb.

"What the hell are you doing?" I say when I catch sight of them again at a food stall. Seriously, these two, "Stop buying treats! That money is for buying the action figures, not wasting on that stuff!"

"What are you talking about, Shinpachi?" he says, cream and syrup from his ice-cream cone smeared all around his mouth, while Kagura-chan has already taken his tall hat and is stuffing mountains of _nmaibō_ into it, "This is a one-in-a-million chance! Better enjoy it while it lasts!"

"Do you want to get paid or not? Quit whatever you're doing right now! We need to hurry, or those figures will be sold out!" Kagura-chan apparently gives up after the _nmaibō_ fall out of Gin-san's hat as she places it back atop his head  _again_ and begins wolfing them down, "Scratch that, I bet they're already sold out while we're too busy stopped and photographed and, in my case, got _graffiti_ drawn on my costume and… eh?"

My words fall on deaf ears as Gin-san's focus turns on another cosplayer who squeezes mayonnaise onto his snack.


	2. Okita

Oh, yes, everything is as shitty today as it is everyday, thank you very much. The mayonnaise bastard and I have been ordered to infiltrate this shitty con in order to capture the piece of shit that is Katsura lurking around here, and we must dress up as those fucking characters from fucking  _Onmyōji_ of all fandoms. Yes, you heard it right. They could have chosen works in which our voice actors aren't voicing fucking _brothers_ , and yet they chose this. If that ain't bad enough, we have to _act_ like brothers too; y'know, all lovey-dovey and all that sickening shit, reason being that the KuroShiro pairing is popular, and gracing this place with a bit of yaoi fanservice would boost the popularity of Shinsengumi. Oh, if only bazookas are allowed in here, I would blast my "brother's" head into pieces.

At least, I know he doesn't enjoy this shit more than I do, and he seems more interested in holding a heated discussion with that permed bastard over mayonnaise than continue petting my head. Good. All the easier to track Katsura down. I'm gonna climb this wall to get a better view…

Wait!

Is this wall moving?

And it's screaming too!

No, I can't keep balance…

 _Shit_.


End file.
